Zdravia, as I started to get to know your hard work and the arch of types. One evidence of my self came up and I thought it could be a topic for the members blog. Consider it if you like .. ==================================================== ZDRAVIA Since I am able to re member my self here on Mama Zemia to associate to full fill my purpose. The lack of associate action and full fill ment automatically shifts me to ad diction, drugs, nasty graphics and in dust trees. And now I know.. Pain fully I found out. As soon as I find my self out of balance I go look for my person sabotaging my nature and straight to the pain why I actually unfollowed my path of just is. The question for me really is why I keep sabotaging my self? Turns out, the only place I have ever been able to find my self in associate action is my nuclear family. Actually I am blessed, many people now are not even able to find associate action there. How ever, to full fill my purpose outside of my family I all ways put to gather people with out net, set the space so the associate action has the flow of its own, set it in a way it just is so only when members face other obstacles they are able to reject coming in. I have never called it associate action and members right, it was all ways the party full of friends. Remember the time, people met every Sunday in circles at woods in local to own or will age? Me neither. My grand ma and grand otec told me. I find out every day that such off line associate action is too much for people to handle.. They are not able to respect them selves in the associate action. The first goes jabs, the second goes idiotic art-fiction and the third one tells me I am the only one from group that it makes sense to be with. He or she wants me completely for themselves. I have not been able to handle that so far. Or could it be I do it wrong? And that is exactly where I go off. I sabotage my self as I do things for the inoneyouall wanting me for them selves the things that he or she should under take them selves. Here is where my inner prostitute comes in. I feel like one. What I need is to face the fear of not having anyone to associate with To face the fear of being rejected. Be cause to face the contra diction I need to cut off the inoneyoualls who want me just for them selves to compensate for their lack of inner respect. JUST IS ==================================================== Zemia - Earth; otec - dad papa; inoneyouall - in one you all in stead of in divide you all - individual.